Thursday, 22 December 2011

I can never explain myself...

hey, hows it doing internet? Have you missed me?...i didn't think so.
I know no one reads this blog - i don't blame them, it's never really very interesting and i don't really have much to say- but for some reason it makes me feel quite happy to write in it every now and again. Even if its total bull**** that doesn't mean anything. Just nice to feel as though i am sharing my veiws i suppose.
I don't often join in when arguments or debates start- wherever i am. I think it's because i naturally avoid confrontation as a whole. I hate arguing with people, and i'm not very good at it. I just turn submissive and agree with everything the other person is saying. Silly me. But there is no sense in arguing for no reason, in my eyes everyone should just shut up and put up with everything; that's the easiest way to live, in harmony with everyone and everything.
It's not healthy though. It's a problem in itself.
If i ever have any problems i try to sort them out myself, i hate involving other people. Despite what you may think (as i broadcast my thoughts online in a series of different ways on a daily basis) i am indeed a very very private person. I keep my secrets to myself, i don't confide any of my thoughts, desires, dreams, worries, anything with anyone. I don't know why, i just never felt comfortable doing it. People tell me things because i never tell other people's secrets. Ever. But i guess any friendship i have cannot be cemented because i cannot trust, cannot confide in people back. I just can't do it.
Even medical problems, though i admit i never really have any, i research and figure out by myself. God forbid i'd ever go to a doctor :P but seriously no, i wouldn't. I have another aversion to people seing me naked, i hate it. I reallt hate the idea. I'm too self conscious and- lets face it- too full of self loathing. I have absolutely NO self confidence at all.
Sorry about this internet. That was a little random and unecessary. Oh well.

2 comments:

  1. This is me, to a T, and though it may be some what comforting to know I'm not alone with this way of thinking, and this life; I still feel just as lost.

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    Replies
    1. It's hard sometimes. and it is nice to know that your not alone but that doesn't necessarily help. Just keep your chin up my friend and know that good times will always come. :D i can promise you this.

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