I don't know if it's just my mindset or an illusion of a false reality that i'm trying to impose upon myself, but things are... Interesting lately. I don't really know how to explain it to be honest. Life is different, but also the same at the same time if that makes any sort of sense. I guess it doesn't. I'll try to explain..
My life used to be a blur of work, staying in my room with few friends and no real social life. I know it sounds like i'm complaining but i'm really not. The weird this was that i liked life when it was like that; a bit of a social recluse, but a happy social recluse.
Nowadays i have changed so much, i want to go out more. In a way, i NEED to go out more because my friends are a lot more demanding of social interraction. I do enjoy it though, and the presence of a boyffriend will do that to you as well. But i'll talk more about him later :). Life is a lot more dramatic as well, i never used to understand the dramas of a teenegers life before because i didn't really have cause to. My life had no drama.... But surely enough, as i have become more mentally mature, i am finding thsese problems are a lot more pressing than i had previously anticipated. That was a weird thing to suddenly have thrusted upon me, especially seeing as i was thoroughly unprepared for all the teenage-angsty situations that would be put before me.
I don't really mean to complain though, this new experience has made it so that my life has become so much more interesting and exciting it's ridiculous. I feel liike i have slightly more of a reason to live. Slightly less lost if you will. That doesn't mean i have quite found myself though, but it's definitely an improvement. I still have no idea what i want to spend the rest of my life doing, what i do know is that i feel the tinyest bit closer to the realisation that i crave. Good for me :). Whooo. My problem is that i don't like waste, so i hate the idea of choosing a path that is meaningless.
Wow, this post has changed subject so much during the course of wrriting it haha. Oh well, i'll get over it XD