Now is not the time to fall apart. Now is the time to get my fucking life back together. I have not given up in the past, i will not give up now (well i did give up that one thing.... but i still have scars from doing that -_- (not self harm lol))
I need to pull myself together, get a grip etc. I spent all of today avoiding my friends or ignoring them while i was with them. They do not take kindly to this and too right! they shouldn't. Ed continuously asked me if i was OK and i had to fucking lie to him. Well no more, i will not mope and moan this time. This is not the end of my god damn life. True i am not planning to sleep tonight, and i am planning on avoiding my friends at all costs tomorrow (no upstairs Paul Woodhouse for me... Unless my laptop runs out again, because i don't like the netbooks and i don't know where i can charge it in ashurst :\ Thats what i did today.) One more day of calming the fuck down before getting down to business.
SCREW THAT I NEED MY FRIENDS. UPSTAIRS AND NEW MOUNTAIN DEW FLAVOUR FOR THE WIN!!! SUGAR RUSH TO PICK ME UP!!!
I have a crap load of stuff to do for art and my theory driving test next week to revise for. And i have to make up an excuse so i can miss tutor and give blood next monday. And a classics test on friday. And an essay to write for psychology. My application to sort out for Bournemouth. Persuading my parents to let me resit freaking 2 modules. and my portfolio to sort out. And the comic strip to draw for my brother as well as getting a start on our family's project. Don't want to leave it too late.
And that's just this week. So there is no fucking time to be depressed. All that does is screw everything over and make me fail. And i hate to fail. Especially at Solitaire which is what i was doing from 1.30am-6am this morning. Fucking rule at solitaire now.
So i will be wasting less time doing Shit drawings for DA (they will not help me accomplish anything in life no matter how fun they are to do) and spend more time working on quality art for college and my portfolio. Less time tweeting useless crap no one cares about and more time doing my homework. Less tumblr and more READING!
My feelings just get in the way so they shall be locked inside until i can vent them onto a canvas and make something useful out of it. Life is more fun when smile, even if it is forced. Because it can shift into true happiness if you let it.
I have been living this way all my life, why the hell should i change myself now.
I am Anna. The only emotion i can portray is happiness. Those are the rules.
Deal with it BITCHES.
This is probably the most i have ever sworn in my fucking life. It will probably not be happening again.
(That's kinda sad haha i am such a square :P)
This doesn't mean that i am not sad. I will miss everything. But i won't let it rule and ruin my life if i can help it. And neither should you.